i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
No subtext here. People are naked.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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