we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
