he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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