Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?

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(705): View more from Ontario

You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.

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(913): View more from Kansas

i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list

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(206): View more from Washington

Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"

(1-206): View more from Washington

I feel so bad for your roommate

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(313): View more from Michigan

The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch

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(928): View more from Arizona

I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!

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