If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.