Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
