I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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