I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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