Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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