if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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