At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
