I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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