What a fucking waste of an outfit
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
