I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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