Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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