if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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