I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
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The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
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