I don't think brook has ever known best
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
