The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
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The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
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Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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