whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
