using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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