You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize