And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
