I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
