omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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