I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
