dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize