your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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