Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
