I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
