...so i touched it.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
