Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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