aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
