i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
