Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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