I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
