Me. At least after what I've been through.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
