You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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