I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She said her name was "party"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
