I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i need some magic done to my vagina
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
