Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
