You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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