oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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