We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
