Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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