Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
