He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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