I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
