Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
