mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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