I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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