Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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