You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
