every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
