He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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