I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
