At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
