Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
