pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize