24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Randomize
