I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
