I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
